Courtesy and finesse….

Have you ever felt intimidated and angry when you are persistently asked to do something? Especially by someone whom you have never met face to face and hardly know? Being excessively pressured to say yes and then pushed to the limit?

One thing is for sure. My heart rebels from inside of me and cries out, ”Please! Who do you think you are in the first place?”

For years, I have worked, I have never been subjected to this kind of behaviour. All my heads of departments, even the present one have never asked for help without saying please and being disrespectful. And when they do, we would always love to do the task with utmost drive and with pleasure, not out of fear nor out of spite.

Have been disturbed of late. And so, I have decided to just lie low and say nothing. Let the thing pass. I do not gain anything anyway.

What disturbs me most is the fact that someone of high standing and knowledgeable can act this way. Why is it so difficult for people to be nice to each other? What is the use of being highly educated if one is rude and cannot even be courteous amongst fellow human beings? The truth of the matter is, asking for help in wanting to gain benefit from others is an art. We need to practice; the mannerisms, the tone of language, the request….Why is it so difficult to say “Please?” Why can’t people say, “It would be very good if..”. Why use, “I want you to....” when “I would be very much obliged if you could..” or “I would be very pleased if you would…” sounds much more pleasing to the ears? I just cannot comprehend….

Common sense. But it is not a common practice anymore… This disturbs me. A lot! Finesse and courtesy is gone. To God, I turn and unto him I put my words of prayers, “Oh Allah! Please show and open the hearts of men who are heartless enough not to realize the importance of courtesy and gentleness, especially when asking for help from others…Amin”

I shudder at the thought of having to work under these type of human beings (as your boss, that is..). Possibly under duress for the rest of one’s lives.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) said ... “manifest taqwa wherever you, replace wrong deeds with good, it would expiate for your sins. Deal with people with your best behaviour.”

In another saying, the Prophet (peace upon him) has also stated, “God is gentle, and He loves the adoption of a gentle attitude in all matters.” (related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

I have not replied nor have I retaliated. One solution is, to do nothing at all…

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “A person who believes in God and the Hereafter should speak about good things or else should keep quiet.”

The only humility that is really ours is not that which we try to show before God in prayer, but that which we carry with us in our daily conduct.. –Andrew Murray

From Him, we seek forgiveness...